(SnowBarry) Close as Strangers
by Infinite Myth
Summary: Barry & Caitlin are really good friends but what will happen if one of them admits they have feelings for each other? Find out! A SnowBarry fanfic.


October 6, 2017-January 14, 2018

Close As Strangers

A SnowBarry Fanfiction

Caitlin stood behind the counter of the bar poring Bacardi into a glass. The smell of smoke and body odor filled her nostrils. All she could think about was Barry. He was back and alive. That's all that mattered. With all the disgusting smells and cold air coming from the door that opened and closed she needed…..no she _wanted_ the warmth he had given her with a bone crushing hug. Even though it had been two weeks since he came back she could still smell his shirt that smelled like a summer rain, his hair that brushed her cheeks ever so softly. He was the best thing she had in the world. But that wasn't realistic. He couldn't ever be with her. He was getting married to Iris in a month. She would never have a happy relationship. A loud _thunk_ woke her from daydreaming.

"Hey!" A man yelled. "You're spilling the damn drink!"

Caitlin immediately stopped pouring and looked up at her boss standing over top of her. "Are you trying lose your job, Snow?"

"I'm sorry, I got distracted. It won't happen again." She stared up icily at him.

Everyone at the bar stared. He brushed her cheek softly. Caitlin's jaw clenched, she could feel her body getting cold.

"Never mind. You are much too _valuable_ to fire." His hand traced down her neck.

"Get your hand off me." She gritted her teeth so hard she thought they would crack. "Please."

He gripped her neck and she grasped his throat as her eyes flashed brown to white. "Don't. Touch. Me." The echo of Killer Frost vibrated in her vocal cords. Fear struck his eyes as he stared at her. He shook his head and let go of her and walked away slowly; Her eyes still white as a blizzard. Caitlin took control as she heard the clapping of hands. She turned around to see Barry sitting at the bar smiling.

"That was amazing."

"Barry." She whispered so quietly she wasn't sure if it even came out. "What are you doing here?"

"Well, to be honest. I was bored and I wanted to see you." His eyes softened. "I've missed you Cait."

"I've missed you too." She just stared.

"What do you say we get out of here and take a walk?"

"I'd love to. My shift ends in an hour."

He sat outside the bar on a bench as the sun set in the crisp Autumn air. Caitlin came walking out of the bar shockingly in a grey tank top and black jeans. Barry stood up in his cream jacket, crimson shirt and blue jeans.

"Coffee?" He asked.

"Sure." Their legs moved in sync as they walked down the street to CCJitters.

After a long silence between the two Caitlin spoke up. "How is wedding planning?"

Barry scratch the back of his head. "Yeah…I don't know. We're having a hard time again."

She shook her head. "Are you still going to therapy?"

"Yeah. It's just, we're not on the same page. She wants to lead the team, but I'm the one that needs to do it. I want to be with her, Cait; but she's making it kind of difficult."

"Look Barry." She stopped walking and gently put a hand on his arm. "You are the strongest man I've ever known. If anyone can make this relationship work, it's you two."

He smiled back at her softly. "Have I mentioned, I really love you?"

Caitlin only smiled. She knew he didn't mean it the way she wanted. He loved her as a friend, nothing more. She loved him as more. It was pulling her apart. She considered many times telling him how she felt, but never did. She didn't want to ruin their friendship. "I love you too."

He nudged her affectionately then started walking again. "So…Your boss…"

Caitlin snorted hotly. "I need to leave work, at work."

"He isn't using you, is he?"

"No. I'm fine, Barry. He is just a man who, apparently, doesn't have a sense of personal space." She shivered slightly.

Barry stared softly. "Are you cold?"

"I'm always cold Barry. It's in my DNA."

"No." He shook his head. "That's not what I meant." He took his jacket off and set it gently on her shoulders.

"Thank you." She could smell the summer rain again. They stood outside CCJitters gazing at each other. Suddenly a loud vibrating sound broke their gaze. Barry reached into his pant pocket and sighed. "It's Iris. She picked out a cake and wants me to taste test it. I gotta go. I'm sorry. Can we reschedule?"

"It's fine. I should go home now anyway. Cisco wants to go over some new effects on your suit." She went to give him his jacker back when he put his hand on hers. "Keep it. I know where you live." He leaned in and softly kissed her cheek. "It's great to have you back Cait." He ran off in a bright yellow streak. Caitlin bit her lower lip and chuckled. There was a triple shot latte in her right hand.

Cisco ran a hand through his jet-black hair. "Oh, It's just like Rachel and Ross all over again!"

Caitlin had gone back to Star Labs to help Cisco fix Barry's new suit.

"What are you talking about?" Caitlin asked rolling her eyes.

"You and Barry. You're like Rachel and Ross in Friends. You know the TV show."

"I know what Friends is, Cisco!" She snapped.

"Oooh! How about Merlin and Morgana? The relationship that never happened? They never got a happy ending."

"This is really boosting my confidence. Do you still make movie references to every complicated friendship?"

"Friendship?! Caitlin dear, this is not a friendship, this is a love triangle."

"What?!" She looked up from solving an equation on her iPad. "There is no love in this relationship. It's just me wishing that Barry would see me in a different light. He doesn't see me as more than a friend."

"That's what you think. What if Barry is just too afraid to tell you how he feels?" Cisco looked at her with raised eyebrows.

"Cisco, how about you just drop it. We're trying to fix Barry's suit from turning into a raft whenever he comes in contact with water." She went back to tapping on the iPad. He took a bite out of a red licorice while walking over to look over her shoulder at the iPad.

"Have you ever thought about telling him how you feel?"

"No, I haven't!" She said sarcastically, frowning.

"Caitlin….." He touched her shoulder. "You need to tell him before it's too late."

Caitlin looked at him with her soft brown eyes. "It's already too late Cisco. I've excepted it."

Cisco nodded. "It might be. But you never know. The future could change. Until then, at least you still have me!" He smiled widely.

She chuckled gently. "I sure do! And I'm very lucky to have a man like you in my life!" She kissed him on the cheek.

"See?" He stared widely at her. "There was no spark. No butterflies! Nothing! I mean, I didn't feel anything! Did you?"

Caitlin burst out laughing. "You always find a way!"

"Did you?! You have to answer me! I need to know if you are hiding your feelings from me!" He looked dead serious.

"No, I didn't feel anything. Happy now?" She grinned.

"Phew! Good! I was afraid you were going to tell me something there!" He gripped the railing beside him.

Suddenly the computers started going off. It was Barry.

"Caitlin? Cisco?!" A voice wheezed from the speakers.

Caitlin practically jumped onto the mic. "Barry?! What's wrong?" Worry seeped into her voice.

"I….." Another wheeze. "…. I can't breathe…." He coughed violently.

"Where are you?!" She asked.

"I'm at the waterfront." He sounded afraid.

"Cisco open a breach! Get me down there!"

Cisco grabbed her around the waist and opened a breach. They landed at the waterfront and saw Barry on the ground with blood coming out of his mouth and nose.

"Barry!" She ran over, and kneeled beside him putting her fingertips on his neck to check for a pulse.

"AH!" He grunted. "Your hands are really cold." He smiled weakly.

"What the hell happened?!"

"Turns out the Thinker is a lot smarter than I thought. Ha! No pun intended!" He coughed as she put a hand on his chest.

"We have to get you back to Star Labs. Can you stand?"

"I think so." He grunted as he sat up.

"Careful." She said softly as she put an arm around him.

He leaned against her for support while he put his arm around her shoulder to help him walk.

"Cisco, I need you to take us back. He's not in any shape to run."

"Hang tight." He took them both back.

Caitlin took him to the infirmary and set him on the bed. He wheezed again.

"Call Iris, Cisco!" She nearly yelled.

Barry shook his head. "No. No, I don't want her to know about this. Please!"

She looked at Cisco and he shrugged.

"You have a piece of shrapnel stuck in your sternum, Barry, and It's traveling towards your heart." She wrung her hands.

"I trust you Cait. Do what you need to." He winced as he coughed again.

"Barry, If I do this…If I make even just one mistake…" He grabbed her hand.

"Caitlin."

She looked deep into his green eyes.

"I put my life in your hands every day." His rough fingers rubbed the top of her knuckles. "This isn't any different. I trust you."

He grunted softly as she gently unzipped his light red, blood-stained, suit so she could better access the wound.

"I can't give you any sedative to numb the pain, your metabolism will burn right through it." He squeezed her hand then let go.

Caitlin took a pair of sterilized forceps and gently went into the wound grabbing a hold of the shrapnel.

Barry yelled then laughed gently.

"Do you remember you when you were doing this to yourself?"

"Don't talk Barry. It will make it worse." She scrunched her eyebrows together. "I'm going to take it out now. Are you ready?"

He shook his head and smiled at her. _That smile. Those eyes. How could he be so calm during his own surgery?_ All Barry could remember was looking into her eyes then, darkness.

Barry slowly heard the heart monitor beeping. He opened his eyes and saw Caitlin sitting in a chair next to the bed asleep and breathing softly. He smiled gently as he went to get up.

"I wouldn't do that If I were you." Her voice was soft but firm. "It's a miracle you're even alive."

"How did it go? I don't remember much." Barry sat up in the bed wincing. She rushed to his side.

"Be careful!" She snapped putting a hand on his bare shoulder. "I don't want to have to stich you up again."

Barry smiled mischievously like a little boy who had just gotten caught doing something he had just been told not to, looking down where his chest was stitched up.

"I have a good doctor. I don't think you need to worry about me."

"Barry, this isn't funny. I thought….." She bit her lower lip as it trembled. Caitlin sat on the bed and sobbed. "I can't lose you again, Barry."

He stopped smiling and looked at her. This was his best friend who had lost her father, her husband, and two of her boyfriends, and thought she lost him after he went into the speed force for 6 months, crying because she thought she was going to lose someone else she cared about. He reached over and put her hand on his heart.

"It's still beating." Barry said softly. "And It won't ever stop beating. Not while you're around to sew me up."

He pulled her into his arms holding her tightly against his chest. She could smell him again.

"I'm not going anywhere Cait." He whispered in her hair. She sobbed softly into his shoulder. "Not ever again."

Iris burst into the room with a slightly irritated look on her face. Caitlin shot up from the bed and stood to the side. "Barry, are you okay?" She stood next to Caitlin.

"I'm fine. It was just a piece of metal. Caitlin got it out in no time. How did you know…..that I was hurt?"

"Cisco called me. He said you were hurt. Why?"

"I didn't want you to know."

Iris's face turned red. "Caitlin could we have the room please?"

She shook her head still looking embarrassed as she walked out.

"Why did you not want me to know about this?"

Barry sighed heavily. "I didn't want you to worry about it. You have enough to worry about. It wasn't important."

"Barry this is your life we're talking about. Why would it not be important?"

"You know Iris, sometimes I think that you really only care about the man in the suit. Not who's underneath it."

She looked like someone had just hit her between the eyes. "What?"

"You don't seem like you're even happy that I'm home!" The monitor started beeping faster.

"Barry." She sat down on the bed. "I love you! And I'm so happy you're home. But you take too many risks! We are getting married in a month, I can't have you dying before our wedding. Think about what that would put me through. I'd have to tell everyone some idiotic excuse about how you died."

Barry stared deep into her eyes. "I think we should call the wedding off."

Iris blinked. "Say what?"

"I think….." He swallowed. "That we need to take a break. We're not ready to get married. We have so much that we need to work on. Couples therapy obviously isn't working, and to be honest Iris, you've changed."

"Barry, I waited for you." Tears formed in her eyes.

"Did you Iris? Or did you wait for the Flash? I think this is for the best. I'm sorry. Maybe one day we can find the love we once had."

Caitlin quietly came into the room. "Barry?"

Barry's eyes softened when he looked at her. "Yeah?"

"There is a jewel robbery on 5th and 6th. Normally I wouldn't do this, but you want me to take care of it?"

"When you say you, do you mean Killer Frost?" He lifted his eyebrows.

She smiled slightly. "Yes."

"I'll help." He got up off the bed, grunting softly.

"You're not in any shape to go stop a jewel thief."

Iris glared at Barry and got up off the bed.

"Need my help at all?"

"Uh…" Caitlin looked at Barry. "No. I think we got it. Thanks though."

She walked out and Barry started to follow her as Iris said. "I guess that's it then?"

He glanced back at her. "Yes. I really am sorry Iris."

"Flash! Get back in bed!" Caitlin rushed to his side, her hair and eyes white as snow.

"Caitlin?"

"Killer Frost. Get in bed right now! I don't care whether you die or not, but I can't control Caitlin and all her worrying!"

"I have to help you…." He tried to pass her.

"NO!" She snapped. "Get your ass in bed!" She grasped his arm with a cold hand, smirking. "Before you catch a cold."

"Okay." He held up his hands surrendering. "If you need me…."

"I won't call you." She walked out, frost followed closely behind her.

Iris walked over to the bed landing a kiss on his cheek. "Goodbye, Barry."

A soft hand landed on Barry's forehead as he slowly woke from his sleep. He opened his eyes to see Caitlin staring at him.

"Good morning." She held a cup in her hands that said CCJitters

He smiled broadly. "Do I smell coffee?"

"Yeah. But it's not for you mister!" She held the cup back as he reached for it.

"I think it is!" He got off the bed and ran for her. She shrieked and ran.

She ran around the computer desks as he went the other way. He easily caught her.

"Gotcha!" He held her tight in his arms looking into her brown eyes with a grin on his face. She was close enough to smell his breath. It smelled like peppermint.

"You smell like peppermint." She said almost as a whisper.

"And you smell like a triple shot latté!" He took it from her taking a sip. "Did you drink some of it?"

"Hey! I told you it wasn't for you!" She when to grab it, but he stepped back, and she accidently hit the bottom of the cup, splashing it in his face and on his shirt.

Caitlin gasped. Barry stared at her, holding an empty cup.

"I'm so sorry…I didn't mean to." She grabbed a towel and rushed over to him.

He started laughing. Caitlin wiped his face softly. "What are you laughing about?!"

"I don't know! It's just…." He stopped to look at her while she cleaned the coffee off on his cheek. He slowly moved closer, but a voice interrupted him.

"HEY GUYS!" Cisco's voice yelled through the speakers. "We've got an unidentified subject coming through the breach. You need to get down here."

Barry and Caitlin ran down to the cortex. "What's going on, Cisco?"

"I don't know. Someone's coming through the portal."

"Could It be Gypsy?" Caitlin asked.

"No. She's on holiday with her dad."

The breach warbled as a brown-haired man fell through the hole, collapsing on the grated floor.

 _F-woop._ Barry stood beside Caitlin in his suit and could feel cold beside him. He looked over and saw frost coming from Caitlin's hands.

As the portal opened and Ralf Dibney came through.

Caitlin and Barry rolled their eyes.

"Man, what the hell?" Cisco ran over to him. "What are you doing?"

"Oh, hey guys!" Ralf smiled broadly then glanced at Caitlin. "Caitlin."

"Ralf, what were you doing in the portal? Did you go somewhere?" Barry asked somewhat annoyed how Ralf said Caitlin's name.

"Well…ha! Funny story…..I was training, when all the sudden some hot chick with black hair came through this weird thing." He pointed to where the portal was. "Called herself Gypsy. Anyways! So, I thought that she was an enemy and I went after her."

"WHAT?" Cisco went over to him and grabbed his shirt. "That was my girlfriend, you idiot!"

"Okay. First off, if you're thinking I was doing something with her…." He smiled. "She's really hot man! Are you sure that you guys are going to work out cause if you're not then….."

"Alright!" Cisco rose his first to punch him when Caitlin stopped him.

"Hey! I'm kidding! I'm kidding!" Ralf put his hands up.

"Okay, Francesco! Calm down. He's just being Ralf, okay? Let's go walk it off." She took Cisco by the arm and pulled him away. "That's it. Go for a walk, cool off."

Cisco turned around. "If I find out that you did something to her, I will…."

"GO WALK IT OFF CISCO!" Barry and Caitlin said in unison.

Barry chuckled softly as she smiled at him.

Ralf stood between them staring. "So, Caitlin."

She looked over at him. "Yeah?"

"I was thinking…..um…..would you like to go to dinner tonight at the Pearl?" He smiled brightly.

Caitlin blinked quickly. "What?"

"I….um….do you want to go to dinner with me? I mean it doesn't have to be dinner it could be coffee or…."

"Um, Ralf. Are you asking me on a date?"

He exhaled. "Yes. I am."

Barry scrunched his eyebrows.

"Uh….." She looked at Barry and bit her lower lip. He exhaled softly as he felt something melt when she looked at him. He wasn't sure what. But, something changed. She made him want to kiss the lip that she bit nervously. It felt like he had got stuck by lightening all over again.

"Please?" Ralf broke Barry's concentration on her lips. Then he realized he had been staring.

"If it's not a good date, then we can just call it good and forget that it happened." Ralf continued.

Caitlin licked her lips and shook her head. "Sure. But if it doesn't go well, you have to promise me you won't pester me about it."

"I promise." He smiled at her. "Well, I'll pick you up tonight then." He walked off with a bounce in his step.

"That was a little random." She said when he left.

"Yeah. A little bit." He had returned to scrunching his eyebrows. "Look, um, I gotta go. I'm going to Joe's tonight for dinner. See you tomorrow alright?" He softly brushed her arm as he walked past her and the spark that had lit his heart just moments before turned to cold coals.

"Hey, Barry." Caitlin touched his shoulder. "Are you okay?"

He looked at her and smiled gently. "Yeah. I'm good. Just a little tired. But that's to be expected right?" He laughed. "I mean I did just get my chest ripped open by a piece of metal!"

"That's not what it seems like. Is something bothering you? You know you can talk to me right?"

"Of course! Yeah, I just…..I'm fine Cait. Don't worry about me." Barry smiled then left the room.

As Barry walked up the stairs of Joe's house he felt angry. Like everything he ever loved had left. Like there was no one left on the earth. He felt like…Savitar. He understood why his time remnant had been so broken. He felt his pain. Barry rapped on the front door.

Cecile opened the door with a smile on her face. Her baby bump more visible. "Hi, Barry!"

"Hi, Cecile. I'm here for dinner."

"Yeah. Come in!" She held the door open.

"Thanks." He walked in and the smell of Grandma Ester's noodles filled his nostrils. Joe stood over the stove stirring a pot of noodles with one hand and a drink in the other. Steam wafted from the deep-fried chicken sitting on the dining room table.

"Hey Joe." He sat down at the table.

"Hey, Barr!" He turned around with a glass in his hand and gave it to Barry. "Whoa! Are you okay?"

Barry shook his head. "Why does everyone keep asking me that?!"

"Because you look like you just got hit by a truck."

"Well, like I said. Isn't that to be expected?" He ran a trembling hand through his dark brown hair.

Joe nodded. "I heard about the Thinker…." He paused. "And Iris."

"I'm sorry Joe. You probably hate me right now. But it wasn't working out. I don't know why, but she changed."

"No, I don't hate you Barry." He sat down next to him. "But…..I don't think it's her that's changed. I think it's you."

"What?" Barry sat up straight in his chair. "I haven't changed Joe. I might be happier than I was, yeah. But I haven't changed."

"I didn't necessarily mean you, I meant your feelings."

"What feelings?"

"For Caitlin."

Barry looked at Joe with a puzzled face. "Caitlin? What about her?"

"Barry…I've seen the way you look at her, and she looks at you." He put a hand on Barry's shoulder. "Son, sometimes…the person that you think is the one for you, isn't. The person that _is_ for you, has been staring you in the face this whole time and you don't realize it. It's okay that you and Iris aren't working out. To be honest, I could tell that it wasn't going as you thought it would. I think that you had a better relationship when you were just good friends." Joe smiled at him.

Barry stared intently. "Sometimes great possibilities are right in front of us, and we don't see them, because we choose not to." He whispered to himself.

"What was that?" Joe frowned.

"It was something that I said to Caitlin a while ago. I didn't realize its importance till now. I gave myself advice and I didn't take it." He rubbed the back of his head. "I'm such an idiot."

"Go tell her Barry."

"No. I'm too late." Barry drank the Cuban in one gulp. "Besides, Ralf took her for dinner tonight."

"Did….." Joe frowned. "Did you tell her about Iris yet?"

"I…" Barry hung his head. "No."

Cecile came in. "Is dinner ready? This baby is hungry!" She rubbed her belly.

"Yeah, babe!" Joe got up and pulled a chair out for her.

"If you don't mind, I'm just going to go to bed. I'm not really hungry." Barry got up.

"Sure…" Joe replied.

Barry sauntered up the stairs.

"What's wrong with him?" Cecile asked.

Joe sighed. "Love…..plays with the heart." He took a bite of chicken.

Caitlin stood outside S.T.A.R Labs waiting for Ralf in a crimson knee length dress. A black car pulled up to the curb. The window rolled down and Ralf smiled.

"Hey! You ready?"

"Sure." She smiled back.

She got in and they drove off.

They got there, and he stretched his arm over and opened her door.

"Ralf Dibney!" Caitlin gasped. "You have manners. Who would have thought it?" She grinned.

"Sometimes." He laughed. They walked into the restaurant together.

Barry laid on his bed, staring at the ceiling and suddenly raced out heading for the Pearl. He stopped abruptly on the sidewalk across the street from the restaurant, looking in at Ralf and Caitlin. They sat at a table talking. He said something, and she laughed. He could hear her laugh ringing in his ears. He memorized that laugh. His stomach fluttered as he watched her smile. Suddenly she bit her lip and he remembered what it was like to kiss those lips. Hannibal Bates was the one she was kissing but he somehow could remember the taste of her lips. Caitlin looked over her shoulder and saw him staring at her from across the street and he could see her lips say _What are you doing?_ She got up from her chair and said something to Ralf. Caitlin quickly ran out the front door, and walked up to him.

"What are you doing here?" The wind blew her hair in her face.

"I…..uh…I was just…." Barry stammered.

Caitlin rose her eyebrows. "Were you spying on us?"

"What?! No! No, I would never do that! I was just…I…..I still don't entirely trust Ralf. And I don't want you to get hurt again." Barry exhaled. He knew in his mind that, that wasn't the truth. He came because he was going to tell her how he feels about her.

"What do you mean, _again_?"

"Every time a new man joins the team you end up falling for him and then he breaks your heart. I don't want you to have to go through that again, Cait. You mean a lot to me and I know that guy. He likes to play with women's hearts."

Caitlin put her hand on his arm which made his heart flutter. "Barry, you don't need to worry about me. I'm a grown woman. I am flattered that you care that much about me but, he's changed Barry. He's not the same person he used to be. Underneath all of the arrogance he is a really sweet guy. You're not…." She paused. "You're not jealous…are you?"

"No…" He hesitated, scratching the back of his head. "I just care about you."

"Barry, did you break up with Iris?"

Barry snapped his head up. "What? How…..how did you know about….."

"We need to take a break?" Caitlin repeated Barry's words to Iris, then moved her hand up to his shoulder and he shivered. "I know you better than you know yourself Barry. You can talk to me about things that are bothering you."

She was so close to him he could smell her perfume. He inhaled then smiled sadly. "I know, Cait. But…..this time I think it's best not to talk about it."

"What's going on with you Barry?" Her eyes showed concern.

"Go back to your dinner and have a good night." He ran off in a streak of yellow lightning.

Caitlin walked back into the restaurant. Ralf smiled when he saw her.

"You okay? I thought maybe I'd have to come rescue you."

"Ralf. I was in the bathroom. The _girl's_ bathroom." She lifted her eyebrows.

"Yeah…your point?"

Caitlin laughed and sat back down. "Never mind."

Ralf went to fork some beef into his mouth when the windows of the restaurant shattered, and the buzz of a magnet rang through the air. Caitlin put her hands above her head as shards of glass fell onto her.

"Caitlin!" Ralf ran over to cover her. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah." She winced. "I'm fine." She had a few cuts on her arms and cheek but nothing serious.

"Come on. Follow me." He grabbed her hand and led her towards the back door.

"Ah, Ah!" A familiar voice said as metal shards blocked their way.

Caitlin clenched her jaw. "Amunet."

"Hello, Caity!" Amunet smiled at Caitlin. "Nice to see you again."

"I can reach the door handle from here." Ralf whispered in Caitlin's ear. She nodded to him.

He stretched his arm out toward the door handle as Amunet threw a shard into Caitlin's arm

"AH!" She yelled out.

"NO ONE IS GOING TO GET IN MY WAY THIS TIME!" Amunet screamed at Ralf. "She's MINE."

Caitlin stood up. "You don't own me, Amunet."

"Oh, but I'm afraid I do, Cait." She pursed her lips.

Caitlin shook her head. "Do NOT call me that. We're not friends."

"We could be." Amunet said. "I will get out of your hair Caity, if you do one last thing for me."

"What one last thing?" Caitlin paused.

"Now we're talking." She clasped her hands together. "I need you to kill the Flash."

Caitlin's eyes scrunched. "Go to hell."

"Fine." Amunet threw a shard into her stomach. She gasped.

"NO!" Ralf went to go for her but Amunet threw a hand up.

"If you want to live you won't take another step." Norvok came up behind Amunet, picked Caitlin up and slung her over his shoulders then walked out the door.

"Oh, and…best not follow us. I know where you live." Amunet winked at Ralf.

Ralf pulled out his phone and called Cisco.

Cisco who was sitting in a chair at S.T.A.R Labs, eating Pad-Tie slurped a noodle into his mouth as he answered the phone.

"What do you want?!" He asked crossly, still angry at him for attacking his girlfriend.

"It's Caitlin! Amunet took her!"

Cisco jumped up from his chair. "Stay there! Barry's on his way!"

Barry lay on his bed flipping through his phone looking at old pictures. He came across the Christmas photo from 4 years ago, with Dr. Wells, Cisco, Caitlin and him. His phone suddenly vibrated. It was Cisco. He sighed and put it to his ear.

"Cisco, now isn't the best time…."

"Amunet took Caitlin!"

Barry sat up on the bed. "I'm on my way!"

"But you don't know where…."

The phone on Cisco's end, buzzed. He had already hung up, heading for the restaurant.

Barry ran in coming to an abrupt stop in front of Ralf.

"Hey, Man!" He helped him up. "You okay?"

"Yeah, but Caitlin…."

"I know. Don't worry about her. I'll get her back." He ran out and zipped around the city, running as fast as he could. Trying to push himself to go even faster. He would not lose her. Not again. He searched every ally, every sewer, every building he went as far as Starling City. He considered asking Felicity if she had seen her, but he knew she hadn't.

" _Anything?"_ Cisco's voice came in through his coms.

"No. Nothing." Barry huffed back.

" _Ralf has some important news I think you should hear. Come back to S.T.A.R Labs and we'll try to figure it out."_

"No! I have to find her!"

" _Barry!"_ His coms screeched in his ears. _"Get over here now!"_

Barry sighed and ran back to S.T.A.R Labs.

"What's this important news I need to hear about?" He set his gloves on the computer stand.

Cisco nodded to Ralf. "Tell him."

"When Amunet came in, she asked Caitlin to do one last job for her and she'd leave her alone."

"And…. what was it?" Barry crossed his arms.

"She wanted her to kill the Flash. Caitlin refused and well…. I tried to save her Barry. I really did. Amunet is…. like nothing I've ever faced before."

"Worse than DeVoe?" Barry replied. Anger seeping into his voice. "Worse than Zoom? Worse than Thawne?! You haven't gone up against hardly anyone, Ralf. How could you know? You hardly do anything when we fight anyway."

"Barry, why are you so mad at me…." He didn't get to finish before Barry grabbed the front of his coat.

"Because I loved her first! And _you_ were the one that was with her. _You_ should have protected her!"

"Hey, Hey!" Cisco came in between them. "He did what he could Barry. It's not his fault. Caitlin's told me about this woman. Her name his Amunet Black. Caitlin used to work for her at the bar. She had a deal with her. She helped her control her powers, all she had to do was do tasks for her. Caitlin wanted out, but she never left her alone."

"Was she hurt?!" Barry looked at Ralf.

"Yes."

"How badly?"

"I don't know. Amunet threw a piece of metal into her stomach and It knocked her unconscious."

Barry grunted and put his hands on the back of his head. "We have to find her."

"We will, Barry." Iris walked in. "Together or not. I still care about you."

He nodded his head. "Look, I'm sorry about….."

"It's okay. Let's just get your girl back."

"I'll try and track her cold signal. See where it leads. Iris call Joe, see if he can get a search party together…." Cisco started to rattle off when Barry interrupted him.

"No. This is my problem. I promised her that I would look after her and I failed. I can't lose anyone else. I'm doing this myself."

"But, Barry…" Cisco started again.

"No, Cisco."

"But, I can help you get her back."

"I'll do it myself. Don't worry. It will be fine."

"Okay. Well the cold signal is saying that she is in…..wait that can't be right."

"What?"

"It says she's underneath DeVoe's house."

Barry pulled the cowl of his suit over his eyes.

"Wish me luck." He zipped out of the building, making papers fly everywhere. Barry felt it again. That sudden urge to wreak havoc on his enemy. Then he remembered what his future self from 2020 had said.

" _In that moment, when she takes her last breath, it will feel like an eternity and it will break you."_ Maybe he was never talking about Iris. Could it have been…. No! He couldn't think like that. But he _needed_ Caitlin back by his side. Making him laugh, giving him hope when he was hopeless. Loving him for what he was.

" _Barry, you passed it!"_ Cisco yelled in his coms.

"Cisco what are you doing? I told you I was going to do this on my own."

" _Please, I want to help. You're not the only one who cares about her you know. Don't be a hog! Sharing is caring! Besides I'm at my place. No one is listening. You can profess your love to her. I won't judge!"_ He snickered slightly.

Barry stopped to a halt. "What do you mean profess my love to her?"

" _Come on, Barry. We all know you have feelings for her. I've seen the way you linger on her when she's not looking."_

"Fine. You can stay, but if you do anything dumb...I'm ripping these coms out of my suit. Got it?"

" _You've got yourself a deal, hombre!"_

Barry inhaled sharply running into DeVoe's house. It wasn't the old DeVoe. It was the new refreshed version. It didn't feel right looking at Dominic calling him DeVoe. But that was wearing off on Barry. He was angry enough to not care.

Dominic stood drinking a cup of coffee on the front porch. "Mr. Allen." He took a sip. "To what do I owe this unexpected visit?"

"I know you have her, DeVoe. Just hand her over and no one will get hurt." Barry shifted back and forth on his feet.

"I don't have her actually. Amunet has her."

"Then why…."

"She's gone. Amunet knew you were coming so she took your dear…what was her name?" He tilted his head.

Barry ran forward ramming him against the front door, spilling his coffee. "If you hurt her. If you put a hand on her! I will _break you_."

"I didn't take her. I have no quarrel with your lady friend. Amunet doesn't work for me. She doesn't work for anyone. She works for herself."

"Save your words. I don't need any information about Amunet Black. I need to know where she took her."

"She took her to St. Matthews hospital." 

Barry flashed off.

"Till we meet again Barry."

Barry ran into the hospital as fast as him legs could take him. He gasped when he saw the sight in front of him. Caitlin hung by her arms to the ceiling. With a gash in her forehead and a cut across her lips. Her dress had stains on the front of it.

"Caitlin." He breathed seeing his breath in the air. He ran over putting a hand softly on her face.

"Caitlin? Say something."

"Hmm…Barry?" She lifted her head slightly.

"Yeah, Cait. It's me."

She smiled, blood stained her once beautiful white teeth. "I was wondering where you were."

"What has she done to you?" He unshackled Caitlin's chains. She whimpered as he wrapped her in his arms.

"It's okay. I've got you. You're safe now." He whispered.

"I wouldn't go that far." Barry turned around staring at Amunet Black.

"I've been expecting you, Flash."

"What do you want with her?!" He tightened his grip around Caitlin. His body warmth radiated into her chilled bones and she shivered putting her face in the crook of his neck.

"I needed her, for you." Suddenly Caitlin was ripped out of his arms and he got kicked hard. A loud _crack_ and the feeling of losing his breath told him that he had just broken a rib. He grunted softly and bent over. Another kick in the ribcage then he felt a piece of shard slice into his shoulder.

"I have to say I expected more. Maybe put up somewhat of a fight, Flash." Amunet whispered in his ear.

He looked up at her, blood seeping out of his mouth. "I don't give up that easily." He punched her in the face she stumbled backwards but someone else hit him in the back of the head and everything went black.

Barry woke up in a dark room that looked like some kind of prison, with Caitlin leaning on him, her head on his shoulder, knocked out cold. She breathed slowly and evenly. He nudged her softly.

"Caitlin."

Her eyebrows scrunched. "Hmm?"

"Are you okay?"

She opened her eyes and looked up at him. "Yeah." Then she gasped. "Are you?"

"I'm just peachy." He smiled at her.

"Barry." She put a hand on his side. He grunted.

"A few bruised ribs and a bit of a headache but nothing serious."

"No. It _is_ serious, Barry. She put metahuman dampening cuffs on you. You're not healing fast."

"Oh. That explains why I feel like hell."

Caitlin unzipped the top of his suit and looked at his ribs. They were black and blue. She softly felt them. He gasped.

"Your hands are really cold."

She rolled her eyes. "I wonder why. You broke three of your ribs. I'm going to put them back in place, but It's going to hurt. A lot. Just focus on something else. Something that helps the pain go away."

Barry stared at her. _She was what made the pain go away._

 _CRACK!_ She snapped the first rib into place. He yelled.

 _SNAP!_ The second rib was back in place. The pain was unbearable. Then he looked into her eyes. Her brown eyes concentrated so hard on his ribs that she didn't realize that he was staring. He thought he could see a tint of white in her pupils as she cracked the third and last rib into place. She zipped his suit back on.

"All done." Her voice seemed far off. "Barry?"

Her face was close to his. Their noses were almost touching. _Do it now, Barry. This could be your only chance._ He told himself.

"Thanks, Cait." He grunted, leaning back against the stone wall. He couldn't do that to her. She'd had her heart broken enough times.

Caitlin looked like she knew what he was about to do. She almost looked disappointed. "How are we going to get out of here?"

"I think I might have an idea."

Amunet walked in and laughed. "What is that idea?"

"Oh, ya know. I have an idea, I just don't remember saying that I was going to tell you." He grinned.

Caitlin smirked. She figured out his plan.

"Ha! I think you will, pretty boy." Amunet pressed her face against the bars.

"Na! I'm good. Thanks though."

She growled and unlocked the door with her keys. "Tell me your plan!" She grabbed his face pulling him off his feet. Barry subtly took the keys from her coat.

"Okay. Fine! I was going to try to faze through the bars, okay?"

"Ah! Well, you see darling, you have metahuman dampening cuffs on. So, good luck with that." She looked deep into his eyes. "Now, who is under that mask of yours?" She tried to pull the mask off but luckily Cisco had recently upgraded his suit so that only Barry and his close friends could take it off.

"Damn it all!" Amunet backed away. "I will figure out who you are, Flash. I've been paid good money to reveal your identity." She walked out closing the door behind her.

"You sly…."

"Don't praise me yet." He grunted as he stood up. "We haven't gotten out."

He put his arm through one of the bars and unlocked the door. "Is the coast clear?"

Caitlin looked around. "Yeah. Here give me the keys."

Barry handed her the keys and she unlocked his cuffs then he unlocked hers.

"Come on." He picked her up. "We have a Christmas party to go to." He flashed her a smile then sped off.

The bottle spun around and around as Caitlin gnawed on her lower lip. She knew that the bottle was going to point to her. She just knew it. Cisco had forced her to play this stupid game. She didn't want to play it, but he forced her to do it just because Barry was playing it. The bottle slowed down and suddenly stopped on…. yup. You guessed it. Caitlin.

"YES!" Cisco yelled.

Barry's cheeks flushed as he looked at who the bottle pointed to. "Um….I don't….Do I do it in front of everyone?" He asked, cheeks red as his suit.

"Yes!" Cisco jumped up and down. "It doesn't have to be a long one. Just give her a peck on the lips!"

He looked at Caitlin, who was sitting next to him and kissed her cheek gently.

"What was that?!" Cisco rolled his eyes.

It wasn't as bad as Caitlin had thought it would be. A quick kiss that left her wanting more. Something more… She quickly realized her mind was starting to wander a little too far. They were good friends and she was okay with that. Besides, there was still Ralf. Granted the date hadn't gone as planed but she kind of liked him.

After a long night Caitlin was on her way out when Ralf stopped her. "Hey, Caitlin."

"Yeah?"

"I was wondering….well you never told me if it was a good date or…?" Ralf stammered. "What I'm trying to ask is was it too bad of a date to not go on another one?"

She chuckled. "Even though I got captured and almost died….I think it was an okay date."

"So how does tomorrow at noon sound? We can go get a coffee, maybe walk somewhere?"

"Sure. I'd love that." Caitlin grinned.

"Great. Oh, here. Let me help you with that." Ralf helped her put her coat on.

"Thanks, Ralf."

Barry talked with Iris but was looking at Caitlin. He pretended he was okay, but deep down he knew he should have told her while he had the chance. Now she might be gone for good.

"Oh, Barry." Joe walked up to him. "You'll never guess who came looking for you today at the precinct."

Barry lifted his eyebrows shaking his head. "Who?"

"Patty Spivot."

 _Oh, Shit….._

Was this karma trying to tell him something? Why was Patty back after three years? Man…..Karma is a b word. Barry had called her back the next day. Turns out she wanted to talk to him. Said she'd meet him at Jitters at noon. He had agreed but couldn't sit still the whole morning.

He sat in one of the booths in Jitters waiting, shaking his legs nervously and rubbing the back of his head. After ten agonizing minutes he saw…..Caitlin come through the door. Her brown hair blew in the wind. She wore tan high heels, dark blue skinny jeans with a blue and white polka dot dress shirt. Patty followed close behind wearing black knee length leather boots with white skinny jeans and a purple button-down flannel shirt, sunglasses sitting gently on top of her head. Caitlin glanced at Barry quickly and smiled. Before he could smile back she turned her back to him and sat down in another booth, leaving Patty staring at him. She waved then walked over.

"Hey, Barry." She sat across from him.

"Hey." He smiled nervously. "You look…."

"Different?"

"No. You look beautiful." His smile was genuine this time. "After all these years….still beautiful."

"Yeah…." She bit her lip. "About that…." She set her hands in front of her.

A glint of light caught his eye. She had a ring on the index finger on her left hand.

"Mommy?" A small boy, that strangely resembled Barry when he was a little boy, came over to her tugging on her shirt. "I bored."

"Mo-Mommy?" Barry lifted his eyebrows.

"That's why I wanted to talk to you." Patty lifted the boy on to her lap. "Barry….this is Vince. Your son."

"My…..s-son?"

"Can you say hi, hon?"

He looked at Barry and smiled with bright green eyes. "Hi." He whispered.

"Hi, buddy!" He smiled back then looked at Patty. "How old his he?"

"He's three."

"He's good at speaking for three, aren't ya bud?" Barry gently smacked his Flash baseball cap.

"I wanted you to meet him, before…"

"Before what?"

She cleared her throat, eyes watery. "He….he has leukemia. The doctors say he won't last another month."

"What? Well, why would you wait until now to have me meet him?!" Barry stood in his seat.

"Barry please let me explain…"

"NO! You don't get to explain. You walk into my life after three years and tell me I have a son that is going to die in a month? I've lost too many people in my life. I'm not going to lose someone else!"

"Please not in front of him." Patty covered Vince's ears. "He has hearing sensitivity."

A tear rolled down his cheek. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry." He knelt in front of her and Vince.

"Could I spend some time with him?"

"We're leaving later today to try and treat his cancer."

"We?" Barry looked at her ring. "You and your husband?"

She smiled. "Yes."

He shook his head.

"That's part of the reason I never had you meet him. My husband and I met on the train after I left you. We got married after I had the baby. I told him who's it was. I told him you were a metahuman and that's why Vince had issues since he was born. He didn't want you to meet him. He said it wasn't worth you getting attached to him….we knew after a month he wasn't going to make it past three."

Barry shook his head. "I get it. I do. But…why'd you change your mind?"

"I wanted him to meet his real dad. I didn't want to deprive him of not knowing his real father."

"Thank you. It couldn't have been easy for you."

"I'm glad that you two got to meet….and I'm sorry Barry."

"Yeah."

Patty got up and hugged him tightly. "I _did_ love you. And always will."

"Bye." Vince hugged Barry's leg.

He chuckled softly, wiping a tear off his cheek, then picked him up and hugged him. "Bye, buddy." He kissed his forehead.

Patty smiled then grabbed Vince's hand. As they walked out the door Vince looked back at Barry and waved. Barry waved back.

When they walked out of sight he sucked in air and felt his knee's collapse beneath him as he started sobbing. Caitlin was to his side before he even blinked.

"Barry?" Her voice showed concern. "Barry, can you hear me?"

Her voice came in and out. He couldn't hear anything except his little boy's voice. Why did bad luck always come on his family?

"Barry?" Caitlin voice was the last thing he heard. Darkness swallowed him.

Vince's voice played over and over in his head. He didn't know the boy but he instantly fell for his cute chubby cheeks and green eyes. There was a bond between them. He didn't know how, but he knew, had he known him longer he would have loved him. A voice suddenly broke the dream. It was Caitlin.

"Barry, if you can hear me….I want you to know…..whatever you are going through, you don't have to go through it alone."

Her voice was like an angel. She knew how to calm him. Just the sound of her voice was like music to his ears. He quickly fell back into a deep sleep.

When Barry woke back up he felt the need to run. He went to the speed lab and did a few laps. When he finished he found Caitlin waiting for him with a bottle of water and a towel.

"Hey." She handed them to him. He nodded then sat down on the step. She tucked her skirt beneath her legs as she sat next to him.

"You okay?"

"No. I don't think so."

Caitlin stared at Barry. "Who was that little boy, Barry?'

Barry sucked in his breath and parted his lips to speak, but nothing came out. Instead a tear slid down his cheek.

"His name was Vince. He's…." He breathed out shakily. "He's my son."

Caitlin leaned back to get a better look at him. "Your son?"

"Yeah, Patty and I…."

"That's why she wanted to meet you." Caitlin said with understanding.

"Yeah. He's dying Cait."

She jerked her head back to him. "What?"

"He has leukemia. He only has a month to live."

"How old is he?"

"Three."

"I'm-I'm so sorry, Barry." She gently put her hand on his arm.

His stomach fluttered again. _How does she do that?_ He went to speak when his phone vibrated. _Damn phone!_ It was Patty.

 _He's gone._

 _Had a heart attack on the operating table. Doctor's said it was from stress. It was too much for someone his age to bear._

Barry gasped softly. Caitlin looked at him.

"He's dead."

"Oh, Barry." She set her head on his shoulder.

"You know, I only knew him for ten minutes, but he touched my life. I don't even know how he did it."

Caitlin reached up and planted a kiss on his cheek, breathing on him softly. He could smell her. She smelled like a brisk, frosty morning. "Some people can do that to you."

 _This was a perfect time to tell her. They were alone. It was emotional. Everything about it was perfect for him to tell her how he felt._ He angrily pushed the thought aside. _He would not let someone else he cared about get hurt. Besides, Caitlin was on a date with Ralf before Barry so rudely interrupted by collapsing to the floor in a crying fit._

"Yeah. You're right." He cleared his throat, wiping a tear from his cheek. She was so close to him. He could smell her breath, her hair, everything about her was beautiful. "So, you and Ralf…..? Getting serious?"

Caitlin slightly blushed. "Yeah. I guess you could say that. He's really actually sweet beneath all of that….." Barry cut her off.

"Arrogance? Annoyance?" He said sarcastically.

She laughed gently hitting him on the arm. "No! Different-ness?"

"Oh, is that what you call it?" He mocked. "Okay."

"Barry Allen, is that jealousy I hear in your voice?!' She joked.

His smile faded. "Anyone who wouldn't be jealous of Ralf, would be crazy." He gazed into her brown eyes. He reached up and pushed aside a strand of hair that fell in her face. "Thank you for everything, Cait."

Her eyes softened, and she started to lean forward when Cisco walked in.

"Oh, sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt anything…" Cisco stopped, his face turned red.

"You didn't interrupt anything. Well, I have to go. Joe needs me at the precinct." Barry got up and walked out.

"What the _hell_ did I just interrupt?!" Cisco stared at Caitlin.

"Just like Barry said, nothing."

"It didn't look like nothing. It looked like you were going to kiss him!"

"Cisco!" Caitlin stared coldly. "Drop. It."

"Caitlin, you were going to kiss him, and I just interrupted it! I can't drop it! You were this close to _finally_ kissing him!"

"It's never going to happen Cisco. Might as well forget it."

"Have you seen the tension between you two? It's not something that can just not happen."

"I'm with Ralf now. It will never happen. I have things I need to do. Excuse me." She pushed past him.

"You can't run forever you know." Cisco yelled out.

She looked back at him. "I can try."

As Caitlin walked around the corner she saw Ralf standing there. She stopped abruptly.

"Ralf! What are you…."

"Is it true?" He crossed his arms.

"Is what true?"

"Oh, don't play dumb with me! I heard everything. You're using me!"

Caitlin stepped closer to him. "No, Ralf. I'm not using you. I really like you!"

"I really liked you too." He clenched his jaw. "So, how long have you liked him then? A few weeks? A few months? A few _years_?!"

"I-I don't…"

"Please. Just tell me the truth."

She looked down at her feet softly rubbing her arm.

"Ever since he was rushed into S.T.A.R Labs weak and in a coma. Ever since he helped me deal with Ronnie's death. Ever since he helped me overcome my fear of Zoom. Ever since he helped me control my powers. Ever since he…he appeared to me as Savitar. Ever since...everything he has done for me. I don't understand it, Ralf. Everything he does is perfect. Everything he does makes me fall for him." Her bottom lips quivered. "I don't-I don't even know my own feelings. I thought I loved you. But now? I don't know." She shook as she sobbed into her hands.

Ralf licked his lips, walked over and wrapped his arms around her. "It's okay." Caitlin sobbed hard into his chest.

"Shh. It's okay." He rubbed her back, then kissed her head. "Cait-Caitlin. Hey. Look at me." He pulled chin up. "You have to tell him. You can't keep running. It's tearing you apart. Just tell him. Please for your own sake."

She shook her head.

"Okay? Promise me."

"I promise." She smiled at him. "Thank you."

 _Come on Caitlin, just knock on the damn door!_ She said to herself as she stood outside Barry's apartment, gnawing on her bottom lip. Was she really doing this? Seriously? She was going to tell the man that she has known for five years, that she loves him? She didn't realize how crazy that sounded until now. As she rose her fist to the door a breathless voice behind her said.

"Caitlin?"

Caitlin swung around almost hitting the person in the face.

"Barry!" She gasped. "You scared me!"

"Sorry! What-What are you doing here?"

"I was um…..I need to talk to you."

"Oh. Okay." He walked up to the door and unlocked it. "Come in."

"Iris let you keep the place huh?"

"Yeah. She insisted that I live here, and she lived at Joe's. I guess it makes sense. I do pay the rent." He set his coat on the couch as he walked towards the kitchen. "Can I get you anything to drink?"

"Um, some water would be good." She sat on the couch setting her hands trembling hands on her lap. She really would have liked something stronger but didn't think it was a good idea. She didn't need him carrying her to her apartment half asleep and hardly able to undress herself. _Sigh_. Again.

"So, what were you doing out?"

"I went running. No speed. Just a normal run. It felt good. Helped me clear my head." He handed her a glass of water, then sat next to her.

"What did you want to talk to me about?" His mesmerizing green eyes stared into her brown eyes.

"I -Uh. I…." She stuttered.

"Whatever you need to say, you can tell me."

"Barry, I-I love you. And not as a friend, or a brother, but more. I always have ever since you helped me deal with Ronnie's death. Maybe even when you were in a coma. I just never knew how to tell you. And then you and Iris…We're so distant now Barry. Look, I understand if you don't feel the same way but, I just couldn't keep it in any longer." She exhaled shakily. "Anyway. That's all I needed." She got off the couch and walked towards the door. A hand grabbed hers and twirled her around. Barry dove forward crashing his lips into hers, gently pushing her up against the wall. She rested her hands on his chest as she delve into the kiss. This was the moment both of them had waited for. It was finally happening, and it was even better than they expected.

"I do feel the same way, Caitlin." He exhaled, leaning his forehead against hers.

"Well it took you long enough, Mr. Allen." Caitlin smiled.

He chuckled lightly pecking her lips.

"Yes, it did Doctor Snow." He grinned. "What does Killer Frost think about it?"

"She has always liked you. Why do you think she decided to trust Savitar?"

"Wait, really?" He looked at her.

"Yeah. Why else would she help him?"

"I thought it was just because…..well…."

"You thought she was just evil?" She laughed. "I have a feeling you should look out for her. Not me."

"You're both the same person to me. She's just your hurt side. Besides, I'll take any version of you. Doesn't matter to me if you're evil or not. As long as I have you. Caitlin, I can't lose anyone else."

She touched his cheek. "You won't."

His phone buzzed. "There is a robbery down on Mill St." He put a hand out to her. "Wanna help?"

She put an ice-cold hand in his. He looked up into her white eyes and she smiled.

"Let's go kick some ass."

He picked her up and flashed out of the room. They both knew, that was just the beginning of the journey ahead.

Part 2 Coming soon…..


End file.
